He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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