He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Let's paint friendship bongs
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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