I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize