What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ttyl tear gas
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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