let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize