You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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