he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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