She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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