wanna go halves on a baby?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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