Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize