She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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