you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
