I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize