I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize