K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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