how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize