it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize