i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize