WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize