u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize