if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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