I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
