There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize