she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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