I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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