So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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