we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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