I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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