you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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