He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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