her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So. Much. Porn.
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