xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize