She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize