Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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