Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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