I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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