I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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