What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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