what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize