Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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