overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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