my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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