she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
false alarm. still invincible.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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