Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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