Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize