Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
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Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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