Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize