make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
His nipple licking is glorious
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