So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize