i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize